Stupid MRI

My first MRI was actually fair bit shittier than I imagined. I got to the hospital about 40 minutes before my scheduled time, and went to the Jim Pattison pavilion (like I was told). Unfortunately, there was no MRI facility in the JPP, and at that hour there wasn’t really anyone to ask. I found an information kiosk that showed a MRI lab in the Centennial Pavilion, so I hurried down there and took a seat in the waiting room.

Of course, there wasn’t anyone in the reception booth so I just sat in the corner hoping that it was the correct place. There were a few other people in the waiting room with me, so I wasn’t too concerned at that point. However, an hour later everyone had left and it was just me in the waiting room alone. One of the MRI technicians eventually came out and looked a bit surprised I was there. She said “who are you?” And I said “Duane Storey.” And she said “you were supposed to be here 30 minutes before your MRI.” And I said “I was here 40 minutes before.” And she said “no, no you weren’t”

Anyways, she bitched for a while but eventually led me to the change room where I could put on some funky pants. A few minutes later I was seated on the MRI table and the technician was putting this funky plastic head cage on me to make sure I couldn’t move my head inside the machine (since the MRI was a scan of my eye socket). Next she rammed earplugs into my ear and told me I had to keep my eyes closed for about an hour, but couldn’t sleep. Good times.

They slid be inside the big machine and started it up. I did a 3 minute cycle, then a 6 minute cycle, then another 6 minute cycle, and then finally a 5 minute cycle. At that point they slid me back out, put an IV into my arm (which I wasn’t expecting), and pumped me full of chemicals (I still wasn’t allowed to move my head or open my eyes). Back into the machine I went for two more 5 minute cycles and a final 10 minute cycle.

I was pretty thankful when it was all over. The contrast agent they put in me made my mouth taste like shit and made me see everything with a blue tinge for a while. I have a meeting next week with my plastic surgeon to go over the results. Until then.