The iPad Will Change How I Go To The Bathroom

It’s true. Sure, it might not have flash, and it might not come with 3G by default. But really, do any of those things matter when you’re sitting on the porcelain god? I think not.

Obviously a laptop is too big to take into the can. Well, at least I hope nobody is taking the laptop into the can (Dan Lilly, that means you buddy). That leaves the iPhone or the iPad. iPhone works decent, but really, there are usually a variety of pads in the can, so might as well add one more. It’s pretty easy to use the iPhone with one hand while grabbing some TP with the other. I imagine one will have to come up with a new posture such that the iPad is resting on a knee or something, but I’m sure it’ll probably make the whole bathroom experience that much better. I mean, I can schedule meetings and stuff while on the can using iWork, or possibly scroll through some family photos using that snazzy photo app that Jobs showed off. The lack of a camera means I can’t take any photos in the bathroom, but really, that’s probably for the best.

I don’t know how it’ll affect the rest of the internet, but I’m pretty sure it’s a game changer in the can. Which is great, but means it’s time to leave the iPhone in the dock when nature calls. Sorry iPhone, it’s not you, it’s me. And we had our time. But it’s time to move on to bigger and shinier things.