It's Hotter than a %#%%# in Here

Published on · Less than one minute to read

Jesus.. My apartment wasn’t made to survive the summer.. It’s currently 26C inside, and I’m sweating to death despite having all my windows and patio door open.

I made the big mistake on Friday night of heading down to Bryght for a little party, and ending up drinking myself into a coma. I didn’t wake up until around 3pm the next day, which is surprising considering how hot it was inside.. I guess all one can really do in this heat is crack a few beers, kick your feet up, blare some music and take it all in stride..

Last night at around midnight, while in the middle of watching a pretty cool movie, the power went off in the building. As the last of the gadgets in my living room stopped beeping and whirring, I suddenly remembered a memo I received under my door a few days prior about a scheduled power outage this weekend. Oops.

I spent the next hour or so frantically trying to hack WEP keys for other wireless connections in buildings nearby, but was unsuccessful. I even tried to get my cell phone working with my Mac so I could use the EVDO to do a few things on the internet, but that was a complete bust too. So, I lit a few candles, played in Garageband, and just took it easy until the LCD on my laptop eventually flickered out and died, the battery finally drained.

Today I gathered up John and Rebecca and headed down to Ikea in Richmond for some shopping. It was a fun trip, even though I didn’t buy too many things. Some asshole honked at me in a situation where he shouldn’t really have, so I spent the rest of the trip honking at everyone else in retaliation. While at Ikea, I demonstrated my genetic Cow-Tipping ability on something that closely resembled a cow. As I told them, you really need to put your legs and back into the cow-tip, or it doesn’t work.



Photo by miss604
Afterwards, I showed everyone in Home Depot just how you’re supposed to ride a tractor or a lawnmower. The trick is to pucker your lips and make tractor sounds while you drive it.



Photo by miss604
A fun day, and I still have seven hours of it left. I’m going to finish a few Heineken’s here, then show everyone on a patio somewhere just how Chilliwack boys drink beer in the sunshine.

Maybe I’ll even run into some cute beer-drinking, tractor sound-making cow-girl who wants to hop on my tractor and ride with me, past the tipped-cow, into the sunset.