A Journey Through Stupidity

So tonight (after a bit of wine) I decided to blow my hotmail account away completely and never look back. Unfortunately, as soon as I tried the circus music started playing and the adventure truly began.

Step 1, tell hotmail to go fuck itself. This involves telling hotmail to close down my account. While fucking itself.

Oh no! Danger Wil Robinson! Cannot close down your account. Apparently there's some Microsoft mail thing associated with my account, and I have to close that down first. Not a prob. I'll gladly fuck over two Microsoft things at the same time:

Microsoft says "just joking." Apparently I need to go to some separate billing site first, and de-associate my account with some phantom billing thing. For some reason it thinks I'm paying for some service, even though I'm not. At least, I better not be. No problem, I'll just stroll on over and remove it.

No billing account exists. Game over. Did you hear that?

That is the sound of Microsoft inevitability.